Why Fictional Characters Don’t Age*


            they don’t walk, they lurch

When caught in a loop

           they won’t break their way out

When alone they say nothing because

            they have nothing to say

When with other fictional characters

            they are more likely to speak ill of the dead

When hungry they’d rather caress an empty lunchbox

             than feast on a carcass of leftovers

When wearing loose fitting clothes

              they walk twice as fast (as they usually do)

When moving house

—whether City to City or just down the Road—

                they only pack belongings into green boxes

                                                      no other colour will do

When relaxing with family, with loving partner, demanding children, all hyper and that, they realise they’ve been written out of the story for a brief time, roughly between a week and a month

(*these actually have nothing to do with why they don’t age, I just thought you’d be interested in some facts about the fictional characters I’ve met— sorry to mislead)

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